Real Change Only Comes from “the Fear” & Harsh Circumstances
There is a funny “Friends” sitcom episode where Joey/ Chandler talk Rachel into quitting her waitressing job to pursue her career in Fashion.
RACHEL: I'm training to be better at a job that I hate. My life officially sucks.
CHANDLER: But wasn't this supposed to be temporary? I thought you wanted to do fashion stuff.
RACHEL: Well, yeah, I'm still pursuing that.
CHANDLER: How, exactly, are you pursuing that? You know, other than sending out résumés, like, what, two years ago?
RACHEL: Well, I'm also sending out... good thoughts.
JOEY: If you ask me, as long as you got this job... you got nothing pushing you to get another one. You need The Fear.
RACHEL: The Fear?
CHANDLER: He's right. If you quit this job, you then have motivation... to go after a job you really want.
RACHEL: How come you're still at a job you hate? Why don't you quit and get The Fear?
(Chandler and Joey both laugh.)
CHANDLER: Because I'm too afraid.
RACHEL: (sighing) God. I don't know. I mean, I would give anything to work for a designer, you know, or a buyer. Ugh. I just don't wanna be 30 and still work here.
CHANDLER: Yeah, that'd be much worse than being 28 and still working here.
So what? Besides being a really funny scene. It also holds a lot of wisdom here. Too many of us are far too comfortable in our lives. Hating the circumstances you are in, yet unwilling to do anything about it. I’ve been here many times myself.
The magic happens when you are backed against the wall. When you are most uncomfortable.
We are too comfortable most of the time and thus we do things on autopilot. If you really want to get anything done, you need to feel “the fear.” And no surprise this only happens when bad and unexpected things happen. We all know about the successful entrepreneurs who were forced into doing their business because they lost their job and couldn’t find another one. You have to make a living so you are forced to do it. God has a plan sometimes.
Change only comes from “being so sick and tired of being sick and tired.” I heard this 30 years ago and only really understand it now. Sometimes you have to hit bottom or be close to bottom to finally do something about it. It’s also what happened to me several times. Magical things happened after but only after I grinded through it and took uncomfortable action. Which is a reminder for me to be more proactive in doing this.
We all overestimate the risks and underestimate our own capabilities to deal with the risk and challenges. We literally are our own worst enemies. So however you do it, “get the fear” and take some action. Get uncomfortable. Don’t fall back into your old bad habits. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.