There are No Atheists in Foxholes: Finding My Religion
I grew up in a strongly rational, science-driven household. One that was frankly, deeply anti-religious. Add all my history background reading about all the awful things that happened in history driven by religion, The Inquisition, the religious wars all over Europe (30 Years War), the Crusades, the Spanish conquest of Latin America and such. All were really horrific things done in the name of God. No wonder I turned strongly against religion, thinking that religious people were deluded.
However, I think we humans are spiritual people. We all need something to believe in. For the bulk of my life, this belief was in capitalism and the West. Securing the bag as they say. It still is in some ways. But as I got older, this started to feel hollow and empty. What do you do when you have almost everything you thought you wanted as a kid?
And then 2020 happened with the pandemic & the lockdowns, 2022 with the brutal Russian invasion of Ukraine. This last half decade has been really rough for many of us. Turning 50 for the most part alone. The consequent breakdown of my family life and business challenges led me to dark thoughts and places these last few years.
One of the places that helped was going to my local Catholic Church more frequently. The place that my 20, 30 or 40 year old self would never have gone to. Yet I find the place peaceful and calming. The words of Mass inspiring and thought provoking. The kindness and smile of local parishioners was welcoming. Praying as meditation. It’s been a balm.
Additionally, since I started doing more business in the MENA region and SaudiArabia, I’ve explored Islam as well. A very robust and masculine religion that I also find appealing. Something about listening to the Koran is just soothing to me. There is something about having a strong moral code.
As the title says, most people usually discover religion in times of trouble and tribulation. Especially as we get older. We neglect our spiritual side in our modern world to our own detriment and that is a shame. But thankfully God in whatever form is always there waiting. I find deep comfort in this thought. This is one aspect of my life I intend to explore much more deeply.