The 4Fs: Code for a Good Life

The Manosphere aka Redpill world is something of a cesspool. But sometimes you can find treasure in a cesspool. Joules Sullivan and Richard Cooper are like the older and wiser experienced brothers you wish you had. They had a great discussion together here focusing on the big 4 in a man’s life: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITZkdc2yrnU

I highly recommend it as they share their life experience & extensive wisdom as Joules is an ex-soldier and intelligence agent turned businessman/tailor and Richard Cooper as both a business man and philosopher author.  

Joules: “Family, faith, fitness, freedom is the goal. Well, I think the phases of a man, I think we all want to get that money and the stuff first. And then once we got the money and the stuff, then we want the status. At a certain point, I think you see through it and you just want no hassle and nonsense. You want a good living. I value going to the gym and getting a good lift in more than I do the buzz from a new supercar at this point. Like actually, in terms of measuring the endorphins in my system. 

What I've gone through now is all of that stuff at a certain point becomes more hassle than it is to return. Once you know hedonistic adaptation, you get used to having all the stuff. They tend to own you really. Especially with a bunch of cars. I think two cars are good. More than that, you get it becomes a hassle and then you're involving different people. And the buzz of ownership for me isn't what it used to be cuz now that I've got you know businesses, families, it's just another work item I need to manage.  Even if you outsource it to people they can mess it up so I'm scaling back and going for simplicity and for me, what I've discovered my custommade reality to be where my fulfillment comes from is the four Fs, so it's faith, family, fitness and freedom. 

Now, within family, I'll put close brothers. I think brotherhood is a real form of wealth. 

Within fitness, I'll put in not just being physically fit, but being combat ready. You know, knowing how to shoot, move, communicate like a professional, having competency when it comes to the hand-to-hand stuff. So, the fitness piece for me is that applicable violence when required and ideally not required. 

So following those four Fs and and trying to simplify my life accordingly,

I'm hitting new levels of fulfillment as a result. As opposed to what I think the machine tells you, which is get more cars, you'll be happier. Get more watches, you'll feel better. At a certain point, it's like, what is all this stuff?

It stopped bringing me fulfillment. And I think faith was a big part of that as well.” 

Joules talks about the role that Islam has had on him. And as someone late to the Catholic church I understand. I only discovered religion in the dark times of pandemic lockdowns which lead to a frayed family life.

Joules: For me to go full spectrum and then take the shahada and accept Islam was a very long process. I would say I was actively considering it for 5 years before I took that step cuz I wanted to be sure. I think the key reason that I accepted the faith was that again it protects traditional values. It protects men like us and women who are still feminine and reject feminism and under God says this is how things should be which I think is quite sacred, quite important. The men I respect most are very devout, very strict Muslims because they have massive self accountability. 

Can you imagine how you conduct yourself if you felt every day, every decision, every business deal, every interaction, you were being watched and you would be judged? Strict Muslims really believe that. They believe they are accountable in everything that they do. Only good things can come from that. 

Now look, as with every religion, people will abuse it. People will pretend to be devout when not really. They'll use it for their own purposes. But those who really believe in Islam have to be good people because they believe the consequences are eternal. Should they not? They have to conduct themselves with very high standards. 

And Islam has clear guidance on every area of life from leading troops into combat to how you manage your wives, how you manage kids, your business dealings. There's sayings within Islam that you should pay the laborer, the worker, before the sweat dries on his face. But even they get into business specifics within something written 1400 years ago that still applied today as to how you should conduct yourself ethically. So for me it's a life code. It's a code of honor and conduct that has been largely forgotten in the west. 

And I think as humans we need guidance from somewhere. You're going to get it from faith or you're going to get it from modern day culture or you're going to get it from politicians. I think humans need guidance and they need self accountability. And Islam to me is the closest, perfect way that you should conduct yourself as a man. 

I'll just cover the faith thing a little bit more. For me, having studied Islam for years, you don't fully understand the genuine fulfillment that you get when you practice it. I'll hit higher levels of inner calm and deep fulfillment in prayer in the mosque more than any other realm of life. I had no idea of the emotional benefits. I chose it because of logic and because of my values being protected within it and just it seemed to be through research again and again the truth and the best sort of guidance a man can have in life. But the inner fulfillment benefits are so strong that I don't even wear fancy watches as much. I've lost the need for fancy cars and fancy lifestyle stuff cuz I can get more fulfillment by walking across the road and putting my head on the ground. That to me is pretty remarkable. I didn't know that benefit existed.” 

While I am not Muslim, I can appreciate everything he says. Religion as a key part of your life, a code. Accountability beyond yourself. To others and your community. This is something we are missing in America. 

Which leads to the next part of the 4 Fs: Freedom.

“I think freedom, everyone understands the idea of financial freedom, everyone understands the idea of time freedom and location freedom. For example, if we talk about true day-to-day custom-made reality freedom, I don't put up with anything that I don't want or welcome in my day-to-day, you know, my custom-made reality, my perfect days. I'm having to learn to be still at this point less giving and less trusting towards people in investments or in business. I'm at 43 years of age, I'm still learning how to be fully free of the hassle factor that comes with, for example, being an overly giving person. So I think I don't want to sound too metaphysical here. 

People talk about F-U money, what about a F-U  worldview?

There's a level of freedom whether we call it energetic freedom or just day to day perfect reality freedom that transcends all. Because I really do believe this expression of custom-made reality.

Everyone writes KPIs for their businesses. Although they write plans they want to achieve for their finances. What about plans for what your custom-made reality looks like? For me, one of the things I'm focusing on now is full people-freedom. I don't want to have anything to do with people I don't want to interact with. So it's time, location, money, and people and day-to-day freedom from hassle. Freedom. 

Rich: Yeah. I find the older I get, the less I find myself interested in dealing with certain types of people. You know, I have some barriers now. It's like I don't want to deal with losers and I don't want to deal with people that work with losers. You know what I mean? And the elite understand this. 

Joules: “This is why they fly private. It's to be away from everyone.  First class is more comfortable than 90% of private jets.

But I mean, there's also people with money that are still losers. So I mean like you've got to be really, really careful about who you spend time with and who you choose to work with. And I think that you know the other element of life that I've also thought a lot about when it comes to the notion of freedom as you sort of frame it.” 

Rich: “There's this condition of anti-fragility where you know you have things that are fragile that when chaos hits, it’s then they become worse. They break glass for example. They have this notion of robustness where when chaos hits something that's robust, it doesn't improve. It doesn't get worse. It doesn't break. It doesn't improve. 

And then there's a notion of anti-fragility where you apply chaos to something and it improves. And I think it's rare for people to find ways to improve when chaos comes at their life. And I think as a man, if you can find ways to implement anti-fragility metrics and components into your life so that when chaos comes, how do I improve from this? How can I take ownership from this? What's the silver lining in this BS that  came at me that tried to kill me? 

You know, one of the things I often say about my scars is that people often ask what happened….I'll say, well, that was just proof that I was stronger than whatever tried to kill me, right? Like that's what scar scars are to me.” 

Last but not least, there is fitness. Fitness of the body and fitness of the mind. I have to warn you it’s a long section. But arguably fitness is the foundation that all the other F’s rest on. 

Joules: “I'll do the fitness piece. Years ago, I thought if someone had a lot of money, they must have value. And so, you know, I structure my life with lots of very high money people. Now, I don't need to be around high money people cuz a lot of times they're just money nerds. Value as a man comes from experience, from challenge, from having every area of your life in order, not just focusing on money and typically being born to money and then amplifying it into billions. And I think that's another area of freedom there.

Like I'm going to free myself from losers, even if they're losers with a bunch of money. That's something that a lot of people don't realize. So I think it's a very valid point you raised on anti-fragility. To me, what's the point of having time and financial independence if you still have attack vectors or vulnerabilities in your character or for example some days you have mood swings? You got to have yourself level and excuse my language, unfuckwithable in every area to really feel free.  It's not just about having a certain amount of money in the bank.”

Rich: “Yeah. I don't know why that's such a difficult concept for people to understand is that life will test you, government will test you, women will test you, your mates, you know, business partnerships that you get involved in will test you and are you better than the sh-t test that's going to come at you and will it improve you? 

 And will you find a way to improve from it? And that's a fundamental basic skill that I think a lot of guys should start with as young as possible. And I think a lot of them don't even conceptualize it.” 

Joules: “And I'm not surprised why the system wants men weak and easily messed with. They don't want men to be free thinking and fragile. So onto the fitness piece. I get more endorphins and more of a buzz from a proper lift than I do a new watch or a fancy resort or so. I've just realized like going to the gym every morning then eating clean steak straight away afterwards is my form of luxury. More than any fancy resort or fancy car or fancy you know I've flown Emirates first hundreds of times. It doesn't blip in my head at all. I'll take a compulsory little video for Instagram stories, you know, social proof, but I do not care. Whereas getting in a proper lift with some mates and then getting that clean steak in afterwards, that to me is absolute bliss. 

I've dialed in my training…. I paid tens of thousands of dollars to a very professional programming guy who does all the biomarkers and everything as well as nutrition and training. And I think you need to train differently at different ages. I do a lot less reps and sets now. A lot slower, a lot more controlled. I put more of a focus on steady state cardio than I'd like to cuz I find it really boring. I put a lot more focus into core strength and rehab, even though it's boring, but I need to do that to be able to get my good lifts in. And I found that the perfect approach for who I am and the injuries I carry and my age for training, again, guided by a professional. And to me that brings massive returns. Massive return. More than any high status or fancy toy or anything.” 

Rich: “You can buy a nice watch. You know, you can make money, you can buy a nice watch, but you can't buy a nice body. You can't buy optimal health and energy that comes from it, right? Well, you know, it's a great feeling. 

What about combat? Like do you put emphasis on combat, you know, capability for violence? I mean, you're a war veteran.” 

Joules: “I don't maintain as much as I used to for years, especially within the military. The hand to hand stuff was my whole thing. A lot of time in Muay Thai camps in Thailand. Took the ground fighting pretty seriously, too, with the jiu-jitsu for a while. I don't maintain it as much because I'm just not in those situations. Occasionally I'll just run through the fundamentals to make sure that it's still there. Like whenever I'm in public and things are tense, I got my phone in my hand.

I'm not going to hit someone in the face. I'm just going to put my phone in the neck before they see it coming. I think as I've gotten older, I've just gotten more prepared to be nastier than most people and that's enough for me to feel secure, especially when I'm either in Dubai, which is super safe, or I'm in typically, you know, third world countries where I'll have security or I'll be moving around with the police or with the Secret Service or, you know, with my network, my professional network. 

So, I'm very rarely in a position where I'd need to go hand to hand. If I was going to get back into that line of work, I'd definitely put the hours in to get really sharp again. But  I'm comfortable with what comes before the violence to protect myself. the situational awareness piece, the risk avoidance piece, having a solid understanding of every threat environment that I walk into, getting briefed by senior police if I'm going to a new city and having a phone number to call so that the quick response that pretty much every either police service or counterterrorism service or secret service, domestic intelligence service has, I can tap into that with a phone call. So, I have layers of protection and also contingency planning wherever I go cuz I spent a fair bit of time in, you know, tricky places, especially with my former career that I'm quite secure without anybody. 

And situational awareness isn't just watching people's hands or watching our expressions or noticing if a fighting age male comes in and sits in a certain area that you would have chosen also as a professional. In the situational awareness, is getting properly briefed on a city. What are the criminal elements here? You know, when do the muggings happen? What are the streets I need to avoid? Having that awareness of a city and then even you mentioned sitting in a restaurant. Not only are you sitting down and what's known as dominating a room so you have eyes on you understand here's the primary exit. There's probably a secondary exit through the kitchen or a staff exit out that way. 

I understand the difference between concealment and cover, especially if I'm in an environment where in the US I'm running this all the time cuz there is gun crime there. If things kick off, where do I move to? Is that a concrete pillar or is it just plywood that rounds would go through? Is that marble bar real marble? In which case, that's where I'm going to get behind if things start getting loud. It’s having that complete awareness of your environment of concealment versus cover around you, what your exfil routes would be. 

And just as a habit, as you said, sitting facing the room and watching for things that don't make sense. Why does that person got the fast eyes when they're in a high, you know, just in a restaurant and they're not relaxed? Why have those two fighting age males who are wearing baggy jackets, perhaps their concealed carry, come in and both sat on a table facing inwards? Like, why? 

You know, it's that complete awareness all the time as a habit as a man is a lot more of a risk reduction measure than knowing how to punch people. Really, so many different mistakes have or you've missed so many opportunities to identify and mitigate risk and take evasive action before you have to hit somebody.” 

So there you have it. The 4 Fs of Men. Family, Faith, Freedom and Fitness. A great framework for your life. Four areas every one of us needs to be working on all the time. The Four F’s for a great life. Simple but not easy.