Life Reminder: Don’t Forget That Everybody Has Problems
“Notting Hill” is one of my regular “go to” movies when I fly. It’s a classical 90s Rom Com movie starring Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant in the now incredibly popular Notting Hill neighborhood in London. How a hapless British bookstore owner runs into America’s leading lady and their budding romance. Funny, touching, sweet and reflective of a happier and more optimistic time in the world.
One of my favorite scenes is when the famous actress Anna Scott is invited over to the bookseller’s sister's birthday party where she meets his close friend and family: they have a lovely dinner. I wrote of this scene before in October 2024. But it’s so good and illustrative of my point..
At the end of dinner, they play a game where they describe in typically British irony of who has the worst life. Ranging from being divorced, to lack of success in work, to being disabled and unable to have kids. The friends are surprised when the actress also wants to play the game. In their minds, how bad could the life of a famous, beautiful multimillionaire actress be?
Well what she says is eye-opening:
“I’ve been on a diet everyday since I was 19, which basically means I’ve been hungry for a decade. I’ve had a series of not nice boyfriends, one of whom hit me. And every time I get my heart broken, the newspapers splash it about as it’s entertainment.
And it’s taken two rather painful operations to get me looking like this. And one day not long from now, my looks will go, they will discover I can’t act and I will become some sad middle aged woman who looked like someone famous for a while.”
Everyone around the table is taken aback and quiet. It’s so illuminating. Everyone has problems, even the richest, smartest and most successful around us. Heck, if you read Marcus Aurelius’ classic stoic book, it’s very clear. He was a Roman Emperor and arguably the most powerful man in the world and he still has many similar issues that we all face in our day to day lives.
Yet we forget this. And in this day and age where we have widespread social media and plenty of examples of great success, it seems everyone is crushing it. I feel this way all the time.
I also know from experience just like in the movie the surface is deceptive. Even in my own life, I live this seemingly glamorous life jet setting around the world, investing and conference going. Yet my home life is a mess and I regularly get hit with these dark and depressing moods.
Since my late forties, I often feel greatly disappointed in where I am in life. Despite all the money I make, I keep having massive liquidity issues every few years. I keep thinking what the heck is wrong with me that I haven’t figured everything out yet. Or how I completely messed up my family.
Then I remind myself of that scene in the movie. The life we see online and on TV is a facade. We are in the age of narrative and grifters. The reality is everyone has problems. Everyone is facing deep and dark challenges in their lives. Everyone is hustling. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.
So this is a reminder for you to ignore all the noise. Keep hustling and believe in yourself. Believe that God has a plan. And if you don’t believe in God, then believe there is such a thing as manifest destiny. Great things are accomplished and appreciated only through great struggle. So keep going.