Life Ain’t Fair: Deal With It

I think many of us growing up were very much insulated from reality. Especially middle class (or in my case, lower middle class Canada). Not sure why but for some reason we are taught in school or by societal messages that life would be fair. Reality bites hard when you enter the real world. And I think that led to a bout of deep cynicism and blackpilling on my part. Thankfully I learned and grew out of it. 

I stumbled upon an interview by Lenny Rachitsky of Ben Horowitz, cofounder of investing giant A16Z. The message is so helpful for all of us: 

“The thing that I would say has had the biggest effect on me is something my father said to me years ago: ‘Life isn’t fair.’ That advice seems really simple, but the thing I’ve seen that defeats people more than any other thing in life is the expectation of some fairness.” 

“There are all kinds of things that are going to happen to you that don’t happen to other people and are completely unfair. But it doesn’t matter because that’s the way it is. And as soon as you can get that idea out of your mind [that life should be fair], you can just deal with it… ‘What should I do now?’ is the real question — not ‘How do I go back and get people to be fair?’… Life’s not fair. That’s the nature of it. If you think about it more than five seconds, you’ll realize that… As an individual, do not expect anything to be fair. It will only defeat you.”

If you believe life is meant to be fair, you will only be disappointed. This is why you have to take responsibility and total personal ownership of everything in your life. This is something you can control: Your mindset, your attitude and your work ethic. The sooner you understand this, the sooner you can improve your life and increase your own impact on the world around you.