Lessons from the Everyday Spy Part 4: Focus on the Right Things
It’s timely that I release this on Christmas Day. The last of my write up on Everyday Spy’s interview with Steve Bartlett’s “Diary of a CEO”
He asks Andy and Jihi:
What advice would you give to the average person in general, just generally in their life, you know, about how to live a good life based on what you've seen, what you know now, and how you look at the world?
Andrew says: “For me, a good life is a life spent doing the things you want to do, the things that bring you joy when you have the age and the energy to do them. It makes me super sad whenever I meet people who wait until their 60s and they retire to be free to try and travel and that's when they focus on learning the guitar and that's when they focus on art and their body just can't keep up with them. Their body can't travel like it used to travel. They have a shake in their hand. They can't paint anymore but they believed for 30 years that it would be better when they retire instead of acting on it right now.
And for me, it's all about finding joy in the moment today. My son is 12. He plays chess now. He wants to play video games with me now. He wants to go deep into details about his favorite manga comics right now. All of that could be different in 5 days. My daughter is seven, doing handstands and doing cartwheels and all she wants is for daddy to give her a shoulder massage at night and tell embarrassing stories about my childhood to her while she falls asleep. That's what she wants now.
All that could be gone and never come back in 6 months. I have to do it now. If I don't do it now, it'll never happen. I won't be able to wait until I'm wealthy. I won't be able to wait until I sell a company. I won't be able to wait until I retire and then try to get these moments back now.
So, what can I do? I ask myself every day, what can I do right now to maximize the joy that I get right now? Because it's not just my joy that's happening. It's also the joy that I'm giving to the people who want my time and space. My wife, my kids, my peers, my clients. What can I do to bring joy to myself will bring joy to others?
Why does that matter so much? My life is filled with people who failed to figure that out. My life is filled with a mother who kept waiting to do the things that she wanted to do and now she still doesn't get to do it. And grandparents who retired poor and family members who retired poor and people who died early and people who got hurt and can't walk.”
Jihi adds: “you know, I realize that Andy has been right all along. It really is. You never
know what the next moment is going to bring. And so, you have to enjoy every moment that you have right now. You know, don't put off that trip until next year. Do it as soon as you can. Don't you know, like those dishes don't need to get washed right now. If your kid wants to read a book with you, you can just put that off for a little bit. So it's taken me a long time, but Andy and I are now aligned on how to live every moment with as much joy as you can and to my other point, like you you never know when shit's going to hit the fan.
So enjoy it now because you never know when you might have to, you know, flee your house cuz you're, you know, it catches fire or flees the country because a war breaks out or, you know, getting arrested in a foreign country.”
Learn from this before it’s too late. This is incredible wisdom. It’s also hard to absorb personally because I spent so much of my 30s and 40s on my career at the expense of my family life. I missed so many important moments in my daughter’s childhood and it’s a good reason my home life is a mess. I deeply regret it. So on this Christmas Day, put down that phone, touch grass and spend it with those important in your life. Breathe, take everything in and savor this moment with them. Merry Christmas everyone!